Audiobook available for “Forced to Marry Him: A Lifetime of Tradition and the Will to Break It”
The audiobook for “Forced to Marry Him: A Lifetime of Tradition and the Will to Break It” is now available on Amazon. It was released on April 14th, 2022 and I haven’t even had the time to blog about it after announcing back in March that it was in production.
It deserves to be listened to. If you don’t have the time to pick up a book and read it, you will surely have the time to listen to it while you are driving or traveling on a plane. It’s just so easy to listen to it in an audiobook format and the book can be listened to in 4 hours and 15 minutes. The narrator Gill Mills did an excellent job. She did justice to my story since she is British, and as you may know I was born and raised in the UK and that’s where my story began. Gill also did great with the Punjabi words.
My story can be related to by hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Unfortunately, there are so many girls who have been in a forced marriage, have experienced domestic violence, and been attacked violently. There are many girls who have experienced a denial of their right to education, and who have been thrown into basic slavery while growing up. It is for these survivors of the aforementioned abuse that I have written my story, to give hope that strength of will can triumph over fear; that there is hope even after a terrible start to life that no girl should ever have to experience. I hope you will listen to the audiobook or read the book in its entirety.
The book is also available in paperback and eBook as well as audiobook format.
Retail Sample of Audiobook “Forced to Marry Him: A Lifetime of Tradition and the Will to Break It”
I’m so excited to announce that my book is going to be made into an audiobook. In fact, it is currently in production and my narrator will be Gill Mills from the UK. I thought it was essential to have someone with a British accent to tell my story. After all, my story began in the UK where I was born and raised. I lived there for 22 years before I moved to the USA.
Currently, it’s available on Amazon and other retailers in eBook and paperback formats at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09MCG6TGG
I just uploaded the video of the retail sample of the audiobook. Here it is.
Contact Me
Please feel free to contact me using the email on my business card. I hope to hear from you. If you would like to get a copy of my book, please look it up on Amazon, or scan the QR code below.
Flyer – Forced to Marry Him: A Lifetime of Tradition and the Will to Break It
I haven’t shared my new flyer yet! I hope you like it! I made it all myself using Photoshop!
Forced To Marry Him by Davinder Kaur
I have exciting news to share with you all. My book Forced To Marry Him: A Lifetime of Tradition and the Will To Break It was finally published on October 31, 2021! This is super exciting for me, and a really big accomplishment. It’s my first book, and I’m hoping my true story will be an eye opener for many as I discuss forced marriage, child marriage, honor abuse, honor killings, tradition and culture.
Please support me by spreading awareness and purchasing this book, and sharing it with all your friends, colleagues, neighbors, and on social media. I would really appreciate it. It is available in e-book and paperback. My hope is that what happened to me does not happen to any other girl, or boy, for that matter. I’m including all the hashtags below that perhaps you can use when sharing the link to my book. All the links are also below. I really appreciate your support very much in advance. Lots of love to you all.
Amazon Link for the USA
Apple Books
https://books.apple.com/us/book/id1592974733
Tolino:
https://www.thalia.de/shop/home/artikeldetails/A1062498526
Kobo:
Scribd:
Vivlio:
https://shop.vivlio.com/product/9798201648497_9798201648497_10020
Barnes And Noble:
#EndForcedMarriage #EndChildMarriage #forcedmarriage #childmarriage #honorabuse #honorkillings #domesticviolence #VAW #humanrightsabuse #tradition #culture #newbook #author #truestory #realstory #memoir #nonfiction
My New Book – Forced to Marry Him
I am so excited! I have finally got my memoir published and this is a huge achievement for me. It took me almost two years! The frustrating thing is that I almost finished writing the book after just four months, however, that’s when I started to get into public speaking and then my focus shifted. It took a while to get back to my book. I then decided that I needed to have it edited professionally, and even though it’s self-published, I can’t claim that I know how to do everything – we all need some help from professionals.
Hopefully, now more awareness can be spread about forced marriage and child marriage. Everyone needs to understand that education first, then marriage is the way it should happen ideally, and not the other way around. Forcing someone to marry against their will is a human rights violation, and should not be tolerated.
The book just got published yesterday October 31st – a Halloween treat to myself! It’s available on Amazon, as well as a whole range of other places online such as Barnes and Noble, GoodReads, Kobo, BorrowBox, Scribd, Vilio, and Tolino. Here is the link to purchase the e-book from Amazon in the USA. The good news is that you can purchase it from Amazon if you live in the UK, Canada, India and a whole range of other countries too!
I hope you will all check out my book, purchase it and possibly write a review if you feel inclined. Please spread the word. I would really appreciate it.
Yaser Said Who Murdered His Daughters in an Honor Killing – Finally Captured!
Words can’t express how excited I am that Yaser Said – the evil scumbag monster who murdered his two beautiful daughters in Texas more than twelve years ago – has finally been caught! So happy! So relieved! So overjoyed. I feel like having a party, and celebrating so much. I have been on Cloud 9 since I heard the news within a few hours of his capture on Wednesday, August 26th, 2020 – just three days ago!
Yaser Said was on the FBI’s Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list.
He evaded capture for more than 12 years, and walked free all that time. How despicable! There was a strong movement to spread awareness about what happened to these girls. In fact, you might be familiar with the hashtag #CatchYaserNow.
I even posted a picture of myself in 2015 holding a home-made sign I created with the words #CatchYaserNow.
The hashtag was created by the film makers of a documentary about the girls, so that the monster could be caught, yet he still evaded capture for all those years. There was even a reward of a $100,000 for any tips leading to his arrest, yet he still evaded capture. The FBI were on the lookout for him, yet he still evaded capture. He was even featured by John Walsh on America’s Most Wanted. It is fabulous that #CatchYaserNow can be retired as a hashtag as was said by the film makers of a documentary produced by Nena Nejad and Xoel Pamos. Please watch this documentary “The Price Of Honor” as it was instrumental in spreading the word about what the girls went through in their short lives. This documentary is so amazing and pays tribute to the heartbreaking story of the Said girls. So happy for all the work that Nena and Xoel put into spreading awareness. So happy too for Ruth Trotter Pink and her son Joseph who also worked tirelessly in the pursuit of justice. Here is a link to the documentary:
Yaser Said wanted his freedom, when the very reason why his daughters are gone is because he hated that they wanted – their freedom. He thought they were too westernized, and didn’t like that they had boyfriends. What did he expect? They were born in this country – the USA, land of the free. Why would he expect them to not want what other Americans want, to feel what other Americans feel? This is the same horrible ideology that so many of us have faced no matter where we live in this world, but especially if we are born in the West – the USA or the UK for instance. We are exposed to culture all around us, pop music, western dress, shows on TV, romance books, etc., yet we can’t have those things. We are expected to go along with what our families want of us – to comply with traditions that don’t make sense in these parts of the world, in fact, to some degree they don’t make sense any more at all. Which traditions am I referring to? I’m referring to arranged marriage, and even child marriage. How can we be expected to want to marry strangers when the very books we read – lead us to want more – to have the romance we read about while growing up?
I spoke about this in my recent video that I shared in a previous blog post and even mentioned Sarah and Amina Said as just some of the honor killing victims here in the USA. Some would like to say, it doesn’t happen here, but yes it does and it’s happened to other girls too such as Noor Alemeki of Arizona, and Jassi Sidhu, not too far away in Canada.
Sarah Said and Amina Said were murdered by their dad because they didn’t want to give in to these traditions. They didn’t want an arranged marriage. They didn’t want to be married to strangers. They were human beings like the rest of us who gave in to love, and had boyfriends and just wanted to live and be happy. For that they were murdered. They were victims of an honor killing. Even though there is no honor in killing, in fact it is very dishonorable, the name is given to these types of murders to signify that families will do whatever they can to hold on to the families reputation and pride. If daughters step out of line, their reputation is at stake, and the entire community could ostracize them. They care more about what the community thinks than they care about their own flesh and blood. They would rather shut their children up for ever, and feel they have saved their “honor” in the eyes of the community, than be scorned by the community. It is a complex and horrible way of thinking, but has to be talked about. Until we can spread the awareness that these are not just murders, but mention the root cause, we are not doing these victims any favors, and we need to. We owe it to them, our sisters, who are left voiceless – that we become the voice for them, so that there will be no more victims of this senseless murder. Yes, murder it is, but it is also an honor killing and we have to educate the public so that more people become aware of how evil it is to force anyone into marriage, to take their human rights away from them, their freedom away from them. There is no excuse for abuse. Culture is no excuse for abuse. Tradition is no excuse for abuse. Let’s spread the word. End forced marriage, end honor killings, end child marriage. Until we root out these evil traditions, in fact, make them illegal and have laws against them, there could be many more honor killings, and we just can’t have that.
Sarah and Amina, rest in peace beautiful angels. We wish you were here to see justice. We hope you are watching from heaven and can now finally rest in peace. We miss you, and rejoice in the capture of your evil monster dad. The streets are rid of his filth, and we love the fact that every day he will be waking up in prison now. We hope he will be very uncomfortable there, and will rot there.
Lastly, I would like for you to sign my petition if you haven’t already done so. In this petition, I ask for an end to child marriage and forced marriage. For the sake of these girls, and survivors like myself and so many others, we would be honored to have you sign and support us.
United Against Harmful Practices Video – Featuring Survivors of Child Marriage and Forced Marriage
I’m so happy to announce that the video for the June 13th United Against Harmful Practices is now on YouTube. Why am I happy? I’m happy because the awareness can be spread about the human rights abuses discussed during the Zoom meeting. No one should suffer child marriage or forced marriage.
Some individuals tried to stop our meeting by zoom bombing it. They tried to share inappropriate images, and tried to silence us, but we will not be silenced. It’s important to speak up about this and not be intimidated. The zoom recording would have been available a lot earlier had these horrible individuals not interfered. However, our recording is mostly unaffected except in one place where unfortunately one part was shorter than it should have been for one of the speakers. That speaker was amazing! She dealt with the interruption so magnificently, I was amazed.
Please do watch the video, as I believe it is enlightening, empowering and even educational. Where else have so many survivors all been under one roof so to speak (even if it was the Zoom roof) and told their very real and personal stories? We are doing this to spread awareness so that no other child should suffer what we went through. Thanks in advance for watching.
United Against Harmful Practices, Zoom Webinar – June 13, 2020 – Speaker Information
Join us for this Zoom Webinar which will take place on Saturday, June 13th at 11 AM PST / 2PM EST / 7 PM UK time and will feature survivors of forced marriage and child marriage who will speak their personal stories of the heartbreaking circumstances that led up to their human rights abuse, how they dealt with it and how they rose past it. This is not a presentation you want to miss as there are amazing speakers lined up. There will be five speakers, and Jasvinder Sanghera will be the moderator. Here is more information on the speakers.
Jasvinder Sanghera CBE
Founder of Karma Nirvana, and Forced Marriage Survivor
She is a highly acclaimed international speaker and an expert advisor to the courts in matters of child, civil and criminal proceedings, is a chair of domestic homicide reviews and was instrumental in ensuring that all UK police forces are required to improve their understanding of honour based abuse and forced marriage by inspections conducted by Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary.
Her memoir ‘Shame’ was a Times Top 10 Bestseller and described in the House of Lords as a ‘political weapon’. Jasvinder is recognised as bringing the issue of forced marriage into the public domain and Prime Minister David Cameron stated that her work ‘turned my head on the issue of forced marriage’. Her work is recognised as being pivotal to the creation of a specific UK forced marriage criminal offence in 2014. Her successful claim of sexual harassment against a peer in the House of Lords was the first in its 479 year history and has already led to an increase in reporting and resulted in significant changes in the House of Lords policy and practice including greater debates and reforms, resulting in a House of Lords independent inquiry into sexual harassment and bullying.
She has received numerous awards including the prestigious Woman of the Year 2007. She was made an Honorary Doctor of the University of Derby in 2008. She was awarded The Pride of Britain Award in 2009 and was named Cosmopolitan Ultimate Woman of the Year in 2010. In 2011 she was listed in the Guardian’s top 100 Most Inspirational Women in the World and in 2012 received the Global Punjabi Award. She was awarded Commander of the British Empire in 2013 in recognition of her outstanding contribution for the victims of forced marriage and honour based abuse and in 2014 was awarded Legal Campaigner of the Year. Jasvinder is also listed as an entry in the 2016 edition of the book Who’s Who and in the same year received the International Woman Award for human rights from the Italian media. In 2018 she was awarded an Honorary Doctor of Law by De Montfort University, Leicester, Woman of the Year by Leeds City Council and in 2019 she was awarded the Robert Burns Humanitarian of the Year Award and also the Sikh Woman of Substance Award. For more information please visit: jasvindersanghera.com
Dawn Tyree
Child Marriage Survivor
Dawn Tyree is an author, activist, speaker, and a founding member of The National Coalition to End Child Marriage in the U.S. The story of her experience as a child forced into marriage has been published in The New York Times, Reuters, and translated into more than 12 different languages. She was featured in a two-hour documentary on child marriage in the U.S. as part of the A & E Network docuseries, “I Was a Child Bride: The Untold Story” with Elizabeth Vargas that aired April 2019. A personal essay, “I Turned my Child Marriage Trauma into Activism” was published January 2020 in YES! Magazine. Her poem, “The Forest Dweller,” appeared in the Winter 2020 issue of Portland Metrozine; and her essay “Spotlight On Child Marriage” was published in the Summer 2019 issue.
Contact
Twitter – @Dawnbtyree
Instagram – @dawnbtyree
Facebook – @DawnTyree
Davinder Kaur
Forced Marriage Survivor
Davinder Kaur was born and raised in Bradford, England. She was just 14 years old when she was shown the picture of a man she would have to marry at the age of 18. Try as she might, Davinder could not get out of the agreement. Davinder knows only too well that many arranged marriages are really forced marriages. She escaped from her forced marriage 6 weeks after the marriage took place. She now shares her story in the aim of spreading awareness via social media as well as with public speaking. She is a strong believer in education first, then marriage, as her right to education was denied to her after High School as she was told that since marriage was on the agenda for her, there was no need for further education.
Davinder recently became a member of the National Coalition to End Child Marriage, as well as the California Coalition to End Child Marriage. She has already independently mentored a forced marriage victim from India who was referred to her by a friend, and now looks forward to mentoring forced marriage victims for Unchained At Last soon. Davinder wants to see an end to child marriage, not just here in California, but all over the USA, and all over the world. She met with Assemblymember Brian Maienschein’s office earlier in February 2020, to plea her case of ending child marriage in California and also presented her story as well as petition on Change.org. She’s hoping with the help of Unchained At Last and the CA Coalition to End Child Marriage, that California will become the next state to raise the marriage age to 18, with no exceptions.
Davinder welcomes you to sign her petition https://www.change.org/EndChildMarriageAndEndForcedMarriage as she feels that all petitions like this should be signed for very necessary change to take place. She would also like you to write a letter to support the Digital Letter Writing Campaign put together by the CA Coalition to End Child Marriage. Since Davinder lives in CA, this is where she will aim her attention first with making change. She also wants to see forced marriage criminalized here in the USA, just like it was in the UK. She is proud to have signed numerous petitions against forced marriage, and her signature was also on the petition to criminalize forced marriage in the UK. Davinder is a strong believer that oceans and borders are insignificant when it comes to the fight against human rights abuse. Anyone has the power to be part of change by adding their voice, and adding their signature. She also wants to see schools and colleges teach the students about human rights abuses such as child marriage, forced marriage and honor-based abuse. Davinder wants to see law enforcement trained here in the USA just like they were in the UK to improve their understanding of honor-based abuse and forced marriage.
Davinder moved to the USA when she was 22, and now lives in San Diego, where she graduated from university late in life with a Bachelors in Business Administration, and is the proud mother of three children. Her oldest daughter is 23 years old and has a Bachelor’s Degree, and is now pursuing a Master’s Degree in Nursing. Her son is 18 years old and at college and her youngest daughter is 11 years old. She likes to remind them about the importance of education first, then marriage! Davinder is in the process of writing her first book which is about her forced marriage experience.
Contact
Twitter – @luchank and @angel4many
Instagram – @luchanik
YouTube – @luchaniktravel
Facebook – @luchanik
Pinterest – @luchanik
Website: https://luchanik.com
Sara Tasneem
Child Marriage Survivor
Sara Tasneem is a forced child marriage survivor. As a mentor and activist, she works publicly to enact legislation that would legally ban child marriage in United States. Sara works to create awareness of child marriage in the U.S. by sharing her story across national and international media outlets, through educational seminars, public speaking events, and by lobbying legislative bodies to end child marriage. She has a master’s degree in Public Administration and a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Golden Gate University.
Sara volunteers with non-profit Unchained at Last as a mentor to young girls and women who are leaving their abusive forced child marriages and is a member of the steering committee for the National Coalition to End Child Marriage in the United States, She works with multiple non-profits along with other survivors to create a network of survivor led advocacy to end child marriage in the U.S.
At just fifteen, Tasneem was forced to marry a 28-year-old stranger. Sadly, she is not alone. Statistics from non-profit Unchained At Last report that 248,000 children as young as 12 were married in the United States between 2000 and 2010. 87% percent of minors who married between 2000 and 2015 were girls. (Frontline, 2017). According to Sara, ending child marriage in the United States is an uphill battle because each state must approve new bills limiting the age of marriage to 18. Many states, including California, are reticent to pass such bills because of age-old patriarchal views of marriage and pregnancy. In 2017, Delaware and New Jersey passed the marriage laws necessary to limit the age of marriage to 18 with no exceptions. After the age of 18, individuals are considered adults and can access the vital services they might need if they experience abuse or want to divorce their partners. Currently, 48 out of 50 states still allow children under the age of 18 to marry with parental consent. Join Sara in her fight to end child marriage in California today by signing her petition at Change.org.
Payzee Mahmod
Child Marriage Survivor, and Campaigner, IKWRO
Payzee Mahmod is a survivor of FGM and child marriage, who lost her sister Banaz in a tragic “honour” killing, Payzee’s is a Kurdish immigrant, raised in London, with a successful career in the fashion industry, she uses her voice to speak out and has made it her mission to be a change maker, helping to tackle these harmful practices.
Payzee has joined IKWRO in the Campaigns Team, she has reached international audiences speaking widely on the need for changes to the laws surrounding child marriage and “honour” based abuse in her TEDX talk, across radio, television and newspapers, including The Sunday Times and the BBC. Through speeches at Parliament and meeting with government officials and the Home Office Minister to explain first-hand why change is needed, Payzee campaigns for better education, training and legislation to finally make child marriage a crime.
Contact
Email: contact@payzeemalika.co.uk
Twitter & Instagram: @payzeemalika
Website: https://www.payzeemalika.co.uk/
Fraidy Reiss
Founder/Executive Director, Unchained At Last
Fraidy was 19 when her family arranged for her to marry a man who turned out to be violent. But with no education or job, in an insular religious community where only men have the right to grant a divorce, she felt trapped.
Still trapped at age 27, Fraidy defied her husband and community to become the first person in her family to go to college. She graduated from Rutgers University at age 32 as valedictorian (called “commencement speaker” at Rutgers).
Her family declared her dead, but Fraidy persevered: With her journalism degree, she was hired as a reporter for the Asbury Park Press in New Jersey, eventually getting promoted to the paper’s elite investigative-reporting team. She went on to a career as an investigator at Kroll, the world’s largest investigations firm. At the same time, Fraidy managed to get divorced, win full custody of her two daughters and get a final restraining order against her ex-husband.
But Fraidy knows that most women and girls who want to flee or resist an arranged/forced marriage are limited by finances, religious law and social customs. For them, Fraidy founded and now leads Unchained At Last.
Fraidy is recognized internationally as an expert on forced and child marriage in America. Her writing on the subject has been published in the New York Times, Washington Post and countless other publications in the U.S. and beyond, and she has been interviewed and featured by those outlets as well as Financial Times, BBC, PBS, NPR, CBS and others. Legislation she helped to write to end or reduce child marriage has been introduced and, in some cases, already passed in multiple U.S. states.
Here is the flyer for the event and to register for the event, please do so at this link: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/united-against-harmful-practices-tickets-106806695702
Kids Need To Be Kids – Let’s Stop Child Marriage
Kids should be able to enjoy their childhood. No child needs to get married. I was engaged at the age of 14, (see video here) and even though the marriage didn’t take place until I was 18, it had all the elements of child marriage. I was not free to choose. I couldn’t say no. I was too young to know what was happening or to fight for my rights. My human rights were violated, and my freedom to choose was taken away from me. I was forced to marry a stranger, and was put into danger. This happened to me not in India, but in the UK. Every day, children are not lucky enough to even wait until the age of 18. They are being forced into marriage at age 10, 12, 14 – you name it. It’s happening here in the USA, and believe me, it’s happening right in your neighborhood. There is a child out there who could be a victim of child marriage and you may not even know it. This is why it has to be brought to the attention of the general public. It’s only through awareness that we can try to make a difference, that we can even try to bring about change, so this does not continue to happen. If it can happen in India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq, many African countries, in the UK, and Denmark – then believe me – it happens here too!
Here’s an article for you to look at so that you can see for yourself: https://abcnews.go.com/US/child-brides-us-share-stories-exploitation-learning-wife/story?id=64589713 Sometime, it happens because girls get pregnant by their boyfriends, and they’re pushed into the marriage, either by the boyfriend or by the parents, so as not to bring shame on either of the families. However, many times, one or both the victims don’t even want the marriage, it’s the parents who thrust this punishment onto the child, in the name of culture and or tradition. It’s no one’s culture to abuse! We all have to stop this abuse, it’s our moral obligation to do so. Right now, people know they can get away with child marriage, in fact they can even go from one state to another to the one that will allow them to do the deed that should not be done – child marriage. I believe that anyone who enables this to happen (cake maker, the priest, the judge, the guests, the parents) is complicit in the abuse of that child, and the longtime suffering they will go through, so let’s just all bring about the necessary action – let’s end child marriage.
Until we raise the marriage age to 18 for everyone in the USA, we will not have done our very best for all children. Did you know that if parents give their consent to the marriage of an under-age child, a judge is very likely to sign off too and then a poor child is doomed to a life no child should have to embark on. Perhaps they blindly believe that parents have their children’s best interests at heart. But, sadly not all parents do. Parents are often the enablers of this cruel tradition that is a harmful practice. They are the ones that want their child married, whether it is to carry on a tradition, or to ensure the child marries appropriately, or does not stray into a relationship that would bring shame on the family – there are a multitude of reasons children, especially girls, are married off. Sometimes, it’s for horrible reasons such as immigration, where one person benefits at the expense of another! However, these reasons are a violation of a child’s basic human rights. Some traditions are best broken or ended, and it’s our job to call out harmful practices when we see them.
Just place yourself in a child’s shoes for just a moment and you will see this is no way to begin a life. A child forced into child marriage now has to serve a spouse in more ways than I would like to describe. However, describe it I must. No child should be subjected to sexual slavery just because they are now in a marriage that they were placed into. No child should be subjected to a life of domestic servitude and control, but this is very likely to happen when they are weak and vulnerable compared to the older spouse who has power and control over them. No child should have their health and safety compromised. Kids should not be giving birth to kids! I strongly believe in education first, then marriage. So many children are robbed of their right to education and placed into marriage as they are considered to be a burden.
If we don’t stop this cruel enabling of child marriage, we are letting our children down. We must ask ourselves “how would we like to be forced into marriage?” Let’s stop the perpetual cycle of abuse and also break the cycle of poverty. If kids are not allowed to pursue an education, they are much more likely to remain in poverty and be increasingly dependent on their spouse, and never be able to escape the unhappiness. Unhappiness often leads to domestic violence. Do we wish them to suffer one abuse after another? Let them have every opportunity they deserve instead of a lifetime of hardship.
I’m asking you as a very concerned citizen, please open your heart and stop the suffering of children. No child needs to be married. There’s no urgency. Marriage can wait until an individual is 18 years old, and as long as they are not forced into it. The real truth is that I would prefer that the marriage age be raised to 21 as I believe that when I was forced into marriage at 18, I was still way too young. How can being 18 be old enough when a week or few months before that you’re a child? Since I know we have to start somewhere with safeguarding children, I’m still willing to say 18 is way better than the alternative of allowing a child to marry prior to that age, so I’m definitely willing to work with this and hope to see a day when it’s raised to 21. I definitely say no to child marriage and no to forced marriage.
Please join me in signing this petition. I urge you for the sake of all children to raise the marriage age for all to 18 years of age. What I’m asking for is that a bill is passed in the House in California that would raise the marriage age to 18 without exceptions. Thank you.
luchanik 